i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize