Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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