talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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