That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
