i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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