I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
