just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
