I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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