oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
