I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
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I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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