watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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