I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
