Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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