Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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