low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
