it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
