She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
