My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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