I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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