I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
