And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
