never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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