Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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