My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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