I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
