the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
two words...techno handjob
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
They have beer where we have blood.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
