i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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