i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You smell like a Billy Joel song
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
