hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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