so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
