I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
