so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
false alarm, still single
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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