problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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