My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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