You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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