I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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