Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
