you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
