I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
