Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
