I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
