yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
