He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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