she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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