I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
