just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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