super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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