Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
