yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
