That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
