she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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