And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
