definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
operation have a gay friend backfired
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We need to get me chipped asap
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
