after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I need moral support for this bender
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
