just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
