bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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