Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
