The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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