I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
