She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
