No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
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Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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