she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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